Chapter one Relating

Published on 8 November 2023 at 13:56

We used to live in fear of revealing our true selves, but now we can embrace our diversity and celebrate our love without fear of discrimination or hate. We owe this freedom to the generations who fought for our rights and liberties so that we may hold our heads high. Lying is not a virtue, but a vice. Society may try to convince us that lying is beneficial, but the truth is that lying only leads to more problems. If we feel the need to lie, we should question our actions and motives. The person who taught us to lie did not do us any favor but harmed us instead.

One of the common causes of dishonesty is infidelity. When someone is unfaithful to their partner, they may resort to lying to cover up their actions. However, this behavior is unacceptable in any relationship monogamous or polyamorous, as it violates the trust and respect that are essential for a healthy bond. Therefore, cheating and lying are both forms of betrayal that should not be tolerated by anyone who values themselves and their partner.
Being honest with your partner is essential for a healthy relationship. If you hide your true self from them, you might end up feeling unhappy and resentful. And when the truth comes out, it might be too late to fix the damage. That's why you should tell them everything from the start, even the things that are hard to share. If they love you, they will accept you for who you are. If they don't, they will leave. But at least you will know that you were authentic and respectful. Don't keep any secrets that might hurt you or them in the long run.

topic number Permissions to be unkind:

Sometime say things that are not expected to come out and it hurts a friend, family, coworker or a supervisor even. We all have the ability to get out of control and yes it does happen from time to time. what I am talking about is being mean to another person. I am not recommending it as a cure for anything, but when it does happen apologies are needed, do not forget to extend the same curtesy to that friend/ family member who just forgave you. To act as such in front of Authorities or your boss is just uncouth and won't be tolerated. 

By raising your standard of loving yourself these things happen less and less. Yes, give yourself permission to be volatile, but understand there are consequences for your actions. rule of thumb one-time accidents happens; number two give it another chance, & number three " I do not have to take this abuse." That is usually when the fight has started if it had not already started.

topic number 3 Don't rock the boat:

Some people advise against rocking the boat in your relationship, meaning that you should avoid causing trouble or conflict. However, if you have a need that is not being met, how can you address it without rocking the boat? One possible way is to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements, such as "I feel hurt when you don't listen to me" instead of "You never listen to me". This can help you express your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing your partner. Another possible way is to choose a good time and place to talk, such as when you are both calm and relaxed, and not when you are angry or busy. This can help you avoid unnecessary stress and distractions and create a safe and respectful space for communication. A third possible way is to listen actively and empathetically to your partner's perspective and try to understand their feelings and needs as well. This can help you avoid misunderstandings and assumptions and show that you care about your partner's well-being. By using these strategies, you may be able to address your needs without rocking the boat in your relationship.

First off if you allow yourself to be overwhelmed and just "suck it up butter cup" it will way on you and if it goes on long enough it will crush your spirit. Worse case Sunaryo it will be death. By rocking the boat, it can also free your spirit and you can be with your truest self.

topic number 4 spiritual path of relating:

At first, you loved your partner despite their flaws. You thought they were perfect for you, and you overlooked their mistakes. But as time passed, your expectations changed, and you became annoyed by their habits. You stopped appreciating them and started wanting more. You felt unhappy and restless in the relationship. yet did you talk to them about what is truly bothering you. (they are not mind readers). Are you being your truest self in order to keep the peace. We talked this in order to keep your life fresh. We are all human, and we all have issues to work with. One Thing I was taught was instead of changing others, we need to change ourselves to make our lives better.

You may feel that you are unable to love the person in front of you, or the ones you truly care about, because you lack love within yourself. This can be a painful and lonely experience, but it is not a permanent one. You can learn to cultivate love for yourself and others and overcome the barriers that prevent you from expressing it. Love is not something that you have or don't have, but something that you do or don't do. We are taught to look for a person who act a certain way, but yet we may miss out because the person in front of you People without love and compassion.

topic number 5 Relating through the body:

We have begun relating to watching life go by without participating any messy part of it. (Living life not letting other people live it for you.) You are not doing anything with your body, instead take it into consideration you are doing it to your body. Did you ask body if it was willing to be put through what you are putting it through, it knows what it wants. In the long run you may be doing your body an injustice. We live in our bodies "skin suite, or a spirit house" and the better you take care of it the longer it will last and like everything else be there until it wears out. (Listen to it and it will love you.) psychologists say only 7% of our communication is verbal, the rest of it is through the body. (Become one with your body and see how far you can go.) 

you respect yourself and other people when you ask for a hug. to rush in and told me even give hug a simple may startle them and your spirit/ body gets rejected because you did not listen to their body or yours

To work with your persecution and shame from the abuse that has been put Apon your body. Purifying yourself and training with the tantric and you are not ashamed your body you can reach the stars.  This practice is well noted with in the tantric sexual practices.

topic number 6 Agreeing to talk about EVERYTHING:

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is communication. Communication is the way we express our thoughts, feelings, needs and desires to each other. Communication is also the way we listen and understand each other. Communication can help us build trust, intimacy, respect and harmony in our relationships. But communication is not always easy. Sometimes we may face challenges, conflicts, misunderstandings or disagreements that can make communication difficult or painful. Sometimes we may feel afraid, angry, hurt or ashamed to communicate honestly and openly. Sometimes we may not know how to communicate effectively or constructively. That is why it is essential to agree to talk about everything, no matter when, where or what condition. Talking about everything means being willing to share our true selves with our partner, without hiding, avoiding or lying. Talking about everything means being open to hear our partner's perspective, without judging, blaming or criticizing. Talking about everything means being respectful of our partner's feelings, needs and desires, without dismissing, rejecting or ignoring. Talking about everything means being supportive of our partner's growth, happiness and well-being, without controlling, manipulating or sabotaging. Talking about everything means being flexible and adaptable to our partner's changes, challenges and opportunities, without resisting, complaining or resenting. Talking about everything means being committed to work on our relationship, no matter what difficulties we may encounter, without giving up, escaping or cheating. Talking about everything is not easy, but it is possible. It requires courage, honesty, empathy and patience. It requires trust, love and respect. It requires communication skills and strategies that can help us overcome the barriers and obstacles that may prevent us from talking about everything. But most of all, it requires a mutual agreement between us and our partner to talk about everything, no matter when, where or what condition.

Being honest with your partners is important for building trust and intimacy. If you hide things from them, they might feel betrayed or hurt, especially if they have shared their secrets with you. I learned this lesson after having five marriages that ended badly. My current wife knows everything about me, even things that I never told anyone else. This has made our relationship stronger and happier. We communicate openly and share our feelings with each other. This helps us to connect on a deeper level and to support each other.

topic number 7 Process of clearing the air:

The times you are upset from a fight you had the night before. You need to remember to talk to the person as soon as possible to be able to clear the air. When you do this, you know you will walk away knowing this person will not be angered with you and the air is clear. When you clear the air between you and your partners your love will grow, and your spirits will be enriched. you have then stopped a fatal, or at least harmful blow to your relationship.

topic number 8 clearing your past.   

We all carry some emotional wounds from our past experiences, and sometimes we create new ones with our partners. You need to honor the commitment you made at the start of this relationship to communicate honestly and openly with each other. There may be some unresolved issues from your past that still affect you and your spirit, and you need to heal them. If you don't address your past, it will interfere with your intimacy and connection in the bedroom. Your partner/ multiple partners can help you clear your past, so you are no longer troubled by it.

topic number 9 Thank you for bringing that up.

Bringing up the past or other difficult thoughts is a risky move. You might damage the bond you have with your partner or partners, make them mock you, hurt their feelings, and even ruin their career, family, and life. Trusting them again after that would be hard for anyone. Sometimes the wounds are small, and sometimes they are big enough to cut off an arm or a leg. If there are things that are causing trouble and need to be examined, you should also examine your own role in everything.

topic number 10 Oh really, until it is done:

If you or your partner is holding on to something than your difficulty is not over no matter if you agree or not that it is done. If it is in the past or currant, it will fester and cause problems until you clear up the issue. sweeping things under the rug never works either because it causes lumps, and it hurts. When you are keeping something from your partner it reflexes with your sex being empty and getting less and less of it.

One of the things you may have to mind your partner that " you made an agreement to talk about the issues until it is done. " It will not always be good or even be something you can get over in a short period of time. but until it is taken care of sex is going to get worse.

living the tantric lifestyle is to have a clear and open communication with your partner with nothing standing in the way.

topic number 11 Space to be upset:

Always give your partner space and time to be upset no matter the issue. The trick is only one person in the relationship is allowed to be crazy at a time. the other person will come back around, " the hulk will not always be there, your teddy bear will be back when they calm down".

topic number 12

It is a proven study that when you put 5 to 7 positives to one negative it kind of mellows the sting when your feelings get hurt.  psych teachers and professors have done study in great length to understand that if a person is only ridiculed, they will move on, but if there is praised to go with it takes a bit longer to come up to the same conclusion,

there are 3 action steps to work on right away (1) thanks (2) Praise (3) flirting.

thanks - When you thank people for things it goes a long way, consideration goes a long way.

Praise - When you praise people telling them how great it was no matter what it is. It also includes make up, apparel, work or even sex.

flirting- When you are not married it is easy to flirt. When you are married some time, you forget to flirt and make your other half feel desirable. When you flirt with your spouse it will make life a lot more interesting.

topic number 13 When in doubt, Touch

Touch is a powerful way of communicating with others, especially when words are not enough. Touch can convey emotions, intentions, and messages that words cannot. Touch can also help us feel connected, supported, and understood by others.

When you doubt what is going on in a relationship or a situation, touch can help you figure it out. Touch can signal interest, attraction, affection, or comfort. For example, when you play footsy with someone under the table, you are showing that you like them and want to get closer to them. When you touch a person's face gently, you are expressing your care and admiration for them. When you spoon each other at night, you are creating a sense of intimacy and security.

Touch can also help you cope with stress, anxiety, or sadness. Touch can release hormones that make you feel good, such as oxytocin and serotonin. Touch can also lower your blood pressure and heart rate and reduce your cortisol levels. Touch can also boost your immune system and help you fight off infections. Touch can also improve your mood and well-being.

Touch is a natural and essential part of human communication. Touch can help you understand yourself and others better. Touch can also enhance your relationships and your health. Touch is a gift that you can give and receive anytime, anywhere.

topic number 14 Relating romantically:

One of the ways to express love and appreciation for your partner is to surprise them with thoughtful gifts, such as flowers or candy. These gestures are sentimental and romantic, and they show that you care about their happiness and well-being. Partners are supposed to feel delighted and grateful when they receive such gifts, as they indicate that you value their presence in your life and want to make them smile. 

  Many people have experienced betrayal and heartbreak in their romantic relationships, which can make them act harshly or coldly towards others. They may have lost trust in love and intimacy, and they may have built walls around their hearts to protect themselves from further pain. If you want to win over someone who has been hurt in this way, you will need to be patient and understanding. You will need to show them that you care about them, respect them, and value them as a person. You will need to prove that you are loyal, honest, and faithful. You will need to help them heal their wounds and restore their faith in love. This is not an easy task, but it can be rewarding if you truly love them, and they love you back.

topic number 15 Forgetting about each other:

When you have issues with your relationships, please remember the steps we have talked about. Review what we talked about and give you as a couple a month with doing all the steps every day reminding each other what it meant to each other in the beginning. By doing this we are getting you through jealousy, and other bad things that happen in your lives.

please understand this is just the beginning of your lives of togetherness. We have learned several other things from the Sanskrit and keep it up the education to show others about life. 






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