**Polygamy** is the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time. Specifically, **polygyny** is when one man takes more than one wife, while **polyandry** is when one woman takes more than one husband. In North America, polygamy has not been a culturally normative or legally recognized institution since the continent's colonization by Europeans. However, it became a significant social and political issue in the United States in **1852**, when the **Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) ** made it known that a form of the practice, called **plural marriage**, was part of its doctrine. Opposition to the practice by the United States government resulted in an intense legal conflict and culminated in LDS Church president **Wilford Woodruff** announcing the church's official abandonment of the practice on **September 25, 1890**.

In the United States, polygamy is not actively prosecuted at the federal level because state laws exist against it. The **Edmunds Act** outlawed polygamy in federal territories, and there are laws against the practice in all 50 states, as well as the District of Columbia, Guam, and Puerto Rico. However, because state laws exist, polygamy is not actively prosecuted at the federal level. Many US courts treat bigamy (having more than one legal spouse) as a strict liability crime. For example, a person can be convicted of a felony even if they reasonably believed they had only one legal spouse. If someone mistakenly believes their previous spouse is dead or that their divorce is final and marries a new person, they can still be convicted of bigamy.

The **Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act** of **1862** criminalized polygamy and unincorporated the LDS Church while limiting its real estate holdings. Despite its enactment, this law was largely understood to be unconstitutional and was only enforced in rare cases. The Act outlawed bigamy in US territories but was seen as largely weak and ineffective at preventing people from practicing polygamy.

In Canada, polygamy is a criminal offense under section 293 of the Criminal Code. Prosecutions are rare; however, charges were brought against individuals in 2014. The federal Criminal Code extends the definition of polygamy to any kind of conjugal union with more than one person at the same time. Anyone who assists or is part of a rite or ceremony sanctioning a polygamist relationship can also be guilty of polygamy. In some cases, individuals practicing polygamy have faced legal consequences such as denial of permanent residence.

In summary, while there are religious communities that practice polygamy in North America, it remains illegal under federal law in both Canada and the United States. Monogamy is recognized as the only legally valid form of marriage within these legal systems.

Polyamorous Thoughts 

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Thoughts on Polyamory and How They Begin

by Rev. Michael Grewe

Today is a polyamorous day for us at House of Pagan Pride.

Polyamory, what does that really mean? For the House of Pagan Pride and most of the poly community it means to openly have more than one love.  You are not hiding, lying, or stealing time from your primary love/ spouse to see another. Ideally your spouse and you will agree on the other people you are seeing. We here at the House of Pagan Pride do not believe you have to be having physical sexual relations to be considered poly, but a lot of times that does happen for people.

To start I should say right off I am a polyfidelity kind of person. What that means is my primary and I have agreed that nobody joins our inner circle without talking and agreeing that any one person/people can join us.

HERE AT HOUSE OF PAGAN PRIDE THESE THREE IDEALS ARE WHAT WE FOLLOW as a guideline.

1) Equality: We would like to believe we run our house on equality standards. Everyone is equal for most things. We try not to leave anyone out of any of the processes. Family meetings are held and that is where we set down the rules and either agree or not. All will follow the same rules for the house (it is done as a team).

 2) Hierarchical:  Some people feel they need the order of a hierarchy to make order in their own brains.   This is where you would find labels such as primary and secondary partners. The husband and wife or primary partners set the rules for the rest of the group. They decide things like time management and activities for the group. Their word is law, and the others must follow if they want to continue to be in the group.

Groups 1 and 2: These groups are most likely to be the ones found on the beach at a picnic, or taking the crew to the movies, or canoeing, etc.… They are not normally known for their sexual activities unless they tell you themselves. These are the ones known for having meta mores (that means: he/ she is my partners lover and hopefully my friend, but we do not have sex at all with each other.) If you are having sex with all the people involved, then you are just partners.

3) Solo Poly: This would be a person with multiple non-attached relationships. They have no interest in the conventional dynamic that starts with boy/girlfriend that escalates over time, or 'settling down'. Partners may or may not know about each other and have little say in how or where their time is spent. Solo poly can be considered a self-primary, where the main focus is on self, and everyone else is secondary.  I do not suggest this for anyone in a dedicated relationship. Going out on your own without your partner is a good way to break up a good thing. 

*** We do not call sex love*** Note: swinging is a whole different animal.  Just because you are poly does not make you a swinger. Swinger means many sex partners, not many loves. 

IF YOU SAY YOU ARE SOLO POLY, WITH IT BEING A NON-ATTACHED/COMMITED LIFESTYLE, I WILL NOT BIND YOU INTO A DEDICATED RELATIONSHIP.  Our binding/commitment ceremonies are for two or more to be bound together as one unit. We will not turn you away, you are still one of us. We praise your ability to choose who you want to be… so mote it be.

TERMS YOU MAY WANT TO KNOW:

Triad/Throuple: three people together working as one unit.

Quad: four people who work as one unit. 

Polyfidelity: a closed circle of people who love each other, and the only time they add anybody to their group, is if everyone is in agreement.

Polycule: a connected network of people in non-monogamous relationships.

Thoughts on Broken Homes and Divorce

By Rev. Michael Grewe

Send me your thoughts on this. The form is at the bottom.

I am going to start by saying the laws say nothing about cheating, in that I know both polyamory and monogamy agree is wrong. I believe cheating should be a criminal offence. Cheating is a different animal all together. When you must hide, lie, or deceive it is usually a good sign you are cheating. We at house of pagan pride would ask that you refrain and try our ways before destroying other people’s lives. We do look down on cheating behavior and do try to fix the problem because we do love the person you are without the cheating. With that being the only way, a Christian can get divorced. We at the house of pagan pride think of Divorce as a cop-out and offer to train this as a thought.

Open honesty with your partners if you have one or more than one is key to a lot in your relationship. remembering sex is not polyamory. The sex act among people who agree and are open to the sexual act are normally referred to as swingers or just non-monogamous people.

Monogamous Christian teaching vs. - polyamorous lifestyles:

There are people who would disagree with my teachings by saying a polyamorous couple must be physical with each other, and other partners, in order to be polyamorous. (What about the a-sexual person who feels polyamorous is what they are, with their partners only in their heart.) They may also say that when your divorce is final it cuts all ties in the partnership. I say to you this. If the sanctity of marriage cannot be held together by the vows you took in front clan and countrymen, and a divorce is done, can you in your heart say you no longer love this person? Yes, you were angry, but does this mean in your heart this person is dead to you? If not, there are still ties that bind you together. Whether you had children together or not, with children it makes it much harder.

In the Christian wedding vows, it states till death do you part. The (only acceptable) reason to get divorced is by putting your partner on a shelf (having affairs). My question to you is… was it a cheating affair or did you agree to have another individual involved, and someone backed out of the agreement? Monogamy is part of the Christian life… lads and lasses I propose that even a divorced Christian is polyamorous unless it was a cheating affair by the standards of the church. Does it see the non-monogamy as a single act against church and God(s) and does it free the non-offender of the crime against the church and God so they may marry again? The answer is yes.

Children will be affected by the choices their parents make. It is learned, heart and soul, even though they may not realize where it started. If either spouse remarries, then that in turn is multiple partners, because of the ties that bind, as said earlier in this talk. Remember the original agreement, till death do you part. Therefore, without the final separation of death, the relationship still stands. Which would bring non-monogamy into play. If you choose to be only with the second partner, then it is still called poly fidelity. If you were never married, and chose initially to be polyamorous, it is still possible to later change and be monogamous.

On a note of changing from one to another: It is not right, or acceptable to intentionally cause separation within a group of people just because you chose to take a different path. This leads to partner stealing, cheating, anger, and many other negative things. If you choose to leave it should be on your own, and not drag part of the group with you. Remember we are not big game hunters, and the spouse is not a trophy for your case. Even in the ten commandments it says, “thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” and we, in the House of Pagan Pride, agree it is wrong.

Looking at the divorce rates in the world. Current studies in the United States alone show around a 50% divorce rate. Even with the teachings of the church Some people start out polyamorous, others become that way due to circumstances beyond their control. Some learn to be that way through life experiences and experimentation. Those that have been part of a marriage that ended through divorce, then remarried another, have become (in my opinion) polyamorous. They can no longer claim monogamy since they now have had more than one intimate, long-standing, union.

Please , understand that the first stories I have heard about this life style outside of my family they were all Mormon L.D.S /branches of type of members (I have never seen a  book of Mormon and how it works). Yes, I do see them as Christian so for me it is a bump in the road and I researched even more. I learned that this life stile goes beyond Christian life. This like pagan life has been illegal for a long time just recently the pagan life was legalised, and because of the Government laws around our lifestyle we do understand them. In this fact we accepts them as poly folks and eventually that lifestyle will be legal and they are still great human beings so we will support them and we will not turn them away as long as they understand where we are coming from. (Pagan and christian  lifestyle is different and one thing we are leary with is interfaith conflicts, but we do understand the draw.) This life is not for everyone & we understand that, so please try to understand They are good people as we are, They are just monotheistic instead of polytheism. I did research even in the k.j.bible, and according to what is read we have questions how this is and we would like to know how you can support it as a part of your faith. We Know the Gods and the humans before christ a lot of  people were poly, The other studies we have done are below. We are not bashing your beliefs, but we do not understand where you are coming from.

If you are Christian, I implore you to Read every passage that is here then look up the history of monogamy.

 The Christian Scripture states, that divorced people are living in sin.   

Matthew 5:31-32, mark 10:2-12, Corinthians 7:39, Deuteronomy 22:19, Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Malachi 2:16,

First Corinthians 7: 1-40 talks of monogamy, family, and a-sexual values of how the Christian’s view it.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 state you are not to return to a former wife that has left another person for you after divorce in the Christian faith.

If you follow this passage and are polyamorous then Corinthians 7: 11-13, under the Christian faith your family should be solid.

So, what happens to those people you call impure, or no longer qualify for a spouse with going into sin? Can we now use the terms of student of the polyamorous lifestyle, is that wrong? By my understanding standards of church and God say the impure are no longer worthy of their heaven therefore no longer allowed in church as well or at least being married. Is there any chance to save their mortal souls, like forgive them father for they know not what they do? So, if it is a no, they may as well be heathen or pagan as far as the church is concerned. Witch also mean the polyamorous umbrella can come into play. If it is yes, how can our sins be fixed so at minimum we can follow the path you set out?  We were your sheep and you our Sheppard, is it that all we need to do is ask for forgiveness, and it is granted or is it an unforgivable sin? How do we know we are forgiven?

You do know it is a good chance it will happen again… for I am but a lowly human.

Outside of Christianity and the roman corruption with the early church of the Christian god. I have never heard of a monogamous lifestyle. As for celibate people, A- sexual that is an animal that is all its own not always by choice, also used in working and helping in the raising of the Christian church to its status. A priest, and clergymen that took the vow of celibacies under Christian God.’

For those who find themselves in a polyamorous situation, and do not know how they got there… there is guidance available. There is much to be learned, and rules to be followed to protect those you are in relationship with so that no one needs to get hurt.

 

We as pagans believe that you live to the will of your Gods and Goddesses for example: worshipers of Dionysus or Bacchus will most likely be solo polyamorous. And the person that worships Aphrodite, or Venus are more likely to live in a structured lifestyle like poly-fidelity that may or may not have rituals bring people together. There are so many different poly styles that can be investigated and how other people believe so you can make those choices.

With that being said… if you are divorced and then re-marry, what example are you showing your children about monogamy? They now see you with two separate ‘permanent’ relationships because you showed them how it was done. How can you say I do not love daddy or mommy anymore, and we just do not see eye to eye. (In my opinion that is a cop-out for a divorced.) By this example how can you truly teach your children monogamy without teaching hate of another person? I do not believe the church promotes teaching hate to anyone.

Please be kind to one another in your hour of change.

Before thinking about polyamory, or anything else, please find out the definition of love and what it stands for.  Please ask yourself, is this meant to be shared with others?

Multiple loves (polyamorous) do not mean multiple sexual partners (swingers), please keep that in mind when you talk to one of us.

When you get married with in your choice then have a sexual encounter it is called non-monogamy with or without agreements. And when it continues the feelings get involved that turns into polyamory, at this time There is normally an agreement with all your partners being aware of the encounters. When the relationship evolves you can take it so many places. If it is not a one-sided love.

Before I was enlightened to the truth about polyamory I would say “but I love them all, and nobody knew of each other. “I did not want to let them go but because I did not know what polyamory was, I could not defend my actions. It was cheating. I knew what non-monogamy and monogamy was.  there was a lot of that in the 70s when I grew up. But the non-monogamy was ingrained into me. when things are seen, and feeling are confused as a child you really must learn without the proper support system if monogamy not already in place. As a child your core values are taught to you, my first lessons were non-monogamy. I am not using this as an excuse, but to understand where the energy comes from. The two people I learned from died married to each other, with very close friend ships from other people.

 Now that I do know, and I am very clear with all my partners what my intents are, and they agree because they understand me, and I feel I understand what they want or need at the time. Forming a bond of love depending how it plays out; it is a true sense of a polyamorous lifestyle. That is why I say from the first time you go out on your spouse by that choice you are beginning a non-monogamous life, because I could not quit no matter what happened… After my first time of the cheating style of non-monogamy with each marriage, I sat at the edge of the bed and said “this can never happen again because I am monogamous” but I was wrong, and I knew it. I am what I am, it did what it did and continued. To be honest with yourself and others really levels the playing field for all in your life. My current wife taught me bout polyamory and agree we are choosing to practice of Poly-fidelity and that works for us. We as a couple do not believe in divorce now…. lol come join the family with us.

 I urge you to look up the terms that I am saying There is so many things on youtube to poly from term to how too, to seeing different people to how they live. I recommend checking out Conor, and Britney on You Tube for references about polyamory lifestyle.  They are another couple like us who try to help others in their path. for terms in poly life, you need to refer to J she goes in-depth as well on You Tube. have fun with the poly music on Youtube that is where I have found my personal favorites. Surf ted talks for poly talks /polyamorous talks I found a guy just like me growing up through school till now. Sorry, folks for me it is just life growing up and being me. I wish I knew what I was at puberty my life would be so different. The other references to support your thinking and understand there are thousands like you and me. polyamory and jealousy are a great lesson builder in your arsenal of knowledge, it is on You Tube if you would like to check it out there are several people who talk on the subject. This is not normally taught in a class setting because of the nature of the lifestyle. So, we have to learn on our own, be raised in it, or read stuff like educational relations now we have YouTube. (PORN IS NOT A GOOD THING FOR EDUCATION ON THIS SUBJECT.) Porn shows sex not love, and Not that I am a snob but porn gives us a bad name and we are not perverts, we just love more than one. prostitution is a business of sex, and sex is a big view upon our people no matter how much deny it. (WE ARE NOT PROSTITUTES OR EASY TO HAVE SEX WITH!!!!)... prostitution & indecent exposure and even more is illegal why are we labeled with them? "My wife and I and our family are close, it does not mean we break the laws of the courts. our family is our family (kin and kindred) are of a Polyfadelital choice. It is not illegal to love more than one person in Michigan, just being licensed in the courts with more than one person. Their are divorces between each wife that I have had. (understand I did not know poly and what it is before my 4th legal wife. so I did get divorced from each of them.)

Please, read my bio here on this site and understand. 

Don't get me wrong there are people that tried and got out and then there are people who refuse to even try it ... folks we love and respect you any how. We here will not push you into something, you neither want nor desire in your life this is just my viewpoint on the subject. To be here know you do not have to be poly of any sort we just ask that you be some kind of pagan, or at the very least pagan curious.

***********PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING DOWN THIS PAGE

 

Polyamory is the practice of having more than one intimate partner with the consent of all involved. It is a form of ethical non-monogamy that challenges the dominant social norm of monogamy. However, polyamorous people face legal and social discrimination in many countries, including the United States. They are not recognized as a valid family structure, and they have no legal rights or protections for their relationships. This is a violation of their human rights and dignity, and it needs to change.

When is the government going to allow polyamorous people to be legal? This is a question that many polyamorous activists and advocates are asking, and they are not getting a satisfactory answer. The government has been slow and reluctant to acknowledge the existence and diversity of polyamorous families, let alone to grant them equal rights and recognition. There are many barriers and challenges that prevent polyamory from being legalized, such as social stigma, religious opposition, legal complexity, and political inertia. However, these are not insurmountable obstacles, and they can be overcome with education, awareness, dialogue, and activism.

Polyamorous people deserve to be respected and accepted for who they are and how they love. They deserve to have the same legal rights and protections as monogamous people, such as marriage, adoption, inheritance, custody, health care, and immigration. They deserve to live without fear of discrimination, harassment, or violence. They deserve to have their voices heard and their needs met by the government and society. Polyamory is not a threat to monogamy or morality; it is a valid and valuable expression of human diversity and freedom. The government should not interfere with the personal choices and consensual relationships of its citizens; it should support them and protect them. It is time for the government to allow polyamorous people to be legal.

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Remember the key to a great polyamorous relationship is that you are totally open and honest with each other from the beginning. By the way the Nine Nobles works for this stuff to, to enhance your personal life.

Family First,

Loyalty with Love, and

Death with Honor (my personal family guidelines)

When you are poly of any sort, we view it as the people you are "loving".

How come the the little brother gets kicked to the side.

Being Poly, we understand that we are the plus side to the LGBTQ + community so in some sense of it all the alternative lifestyles go in the plus side of things. With that being said and the water is under the bridge We will also openly do your weddings as well if you need someone to officiate. We will still walk the gay parades with you like we are all one big happy family, and even do your boyfriends, brother's, cousin's polish bar mitzvah in Germany if you need us to. 

We in the polyamorous community have stood by the LGBTQ+ community supporting them in their way of life and now that the government has recognized them their +plus has been forgotten or pushed to the side like the annoying little brother who keeps getting into your stuff. Just the other day a very dear friend of mine to whom is homosexual asked if I could go with her to a "PRIDE" parade with her and I a lot of enthusiasm said yes. When it came time, I asked her if she would interview with me on my YouTube channel the answer was not one I expected... errrr ummmm errrrr oh boy Mike I would truly like too but I cannot be seen on a Poly channel. What would people think? (She was one of mine and my wife's girlfriends) NOW, SHOULD I FEEL INSULTED?

Now they have all their rights are intact the only thing you hear about Poly folks is whispers and rumors in little towns or gruesome and horrifying  stories about those groups of people who give poly people a bad name. If you have not heard about us poly folks I recommend looking us up on Youtube you will find good bad and UGLY people there. I feel we need to have a sit in on the Governmental property all over the United States like They did in the 70's along with having the world's largest function like woodstock fighting for the rights of all people peacefully and with music all over the United States.

We are not all child molesters or rapists,  just one apple can spoil a bushel of apples...  Stories ruin  people with just a couple of words, and those stories destroyed our entire polyamorous culture. We need to repair the problems made from centuries of defamation of character and slander of our people to which now has made laws against us and now we go to jail for marrying more than one person. We deserve our rights so all our people are able to all be equal as it is said in the declaration of independence of the United States. The first amendment says it best rites of religion, speech, and press are meant for all people of the United States.

Why don't we as poly folks of all kinds stand up and be counted. We are not just trailer park trash that makes our own trailer park with just one family of people. We do have Quite a few small families like two - three extra spouses all over our country. We, (They) deserves to be legal and proud to be who they are. 

For a lot of people that do not like Polyamorous folks, polygamist people, or people who are not quite like them. These are the people who choose our laws, and go against our first amendment rights and getting away with it. With that being said you are here because you are enjoying a bit of another person's lifestyle, what do you think? We are suppose to be pc in our community so what happened to that ? It is ok for you to run around calling us bigett, racist, and other vile things yet when we are different you come in make a new law and call it an old one... We have been under grease and rome started it in 285 A.D.  the English rule , along with the "Vatican"(Roman catholic church) look at the dates on those laws and when they were first put in place. In the United States jan. 16, 1919 we brought those nasty rotten laws here of polyamory (laws of infidelity). Following the Church even though we are suppose to be separate church and state We as a People allowed it, because we did not know Better.  NOW TELL ME WHEN CHURCH DID NOT HAVE THERE HAND IN THE GOVERNMENTAL COOKY JAR? IN 1878 POLYGAMY WAS MADE ILLEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES  

 

By Neetal Parekh on August 03, 2009 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Derived from the the Greek prefix "poly" for many and the Latin word "amor" for love, polyamory is the unconventional practice of being in and consenting to multiple romantic relationships at a time.  Termed "ethical" or "responsible" non-monogamy, the practice has been gaining more attention and more followers in recent years.

How does polyamory tie into law and is it a form of polygamy?

Polyamory distinguishes itself from the similar-sounding polygamy.  Polygamy is marriage to multiple spouses at the same time.  It is illegal in all states and is grounds for annulment.

Polyamory, unlike polygamy, is not defined by marriage.  Thus, unless the relationships violate any standing state laws, they are out of judicial purview-- but do not receive the legal and tax benefits and responsibilities as assigned by registered marriage.

The law perhaps intersects most with polyamory in the realm of child custody and shared property.  Though appearing to offer seemingly unlimited choice and openness, even polyamorous relationships can go south.  It is at that time that polyamorists are likely to take a closer look at their legal rights to determine custody arrangements and how property will be divided.

Because polyamory is not legally recognized, there are no inherent rights for members of a polyamorous relationship.  Property division is determined by ownership and community property laws do not apply. 

Similarly, child custody considerations for partners in a polyamorous relationship will parallel those of unmarried parents, in which state courts often favor awarding sole physical custody to the mother.  Because of the unconventional nature of polyamory, the court may exhibit a bias toward awarding custody to a parent that is not in a polyamorous unit.  Drafting a collaborative and mutual agreement between those vying for custody and visitation may prove more successful and less uprooting for the child involved---rather than turning to the court to resolve the issue.

 

In Michigan it is a four year Felony for being married to more than one woman, so does having five at one time make you a habitual offender puting the offence up to twenty years in prison, that is five years away from a life sentence. 

Even if it were legal to marry more than one or two they have other laws  that will get you. They will get you if you are not careful. it is illegal to have a mistress in Michigan. You have loophole after loophole that as a polyamorous person you must jump through to even be able to find love from one person that you understand and love. If you have two or more you are lucky, good luck and may the Gods be with you. Be very careful of the (poly natzi's) Even your wife could turn on you and you will get more time behind bars. It is like Germany WWII with the jews, or when they trapped Africans and brought them to America. IF THEY CATCH YOU ... YOU WILL GO INTO A CAGE and IN CHAINS. These are the same people that that says that America is the land of the free ... lol, 🤣 🤣 🤣. 

THE MICHIGAN PENAL CODE (EXCERPT)
Act 328 of 1931
750.439 Polygamy; definition; felony.

Sec. 439.

   Polygamy—Any person who has a former husband or wife living, who shall marry another person, or shall continue to cohabit with such second husband or wife, in this state, he or she shall, except in the cases mentioned herein, be guilty of the crime of polygamy, a felony.

   The provisions of this section shall not extend to any person whose husband or wife shall have voluntarily remained beyond the sea, or shall have voluntarily withdrawn from the other and remained absent for the space of five years next preceding such marriage, the party marrying again, not knowing the other to be living within that time, nor to any person who shall have good reason to believe such husband or wife to be dead, nor to any person who has been legally divorced from the bonds of matrimony.

History: 1931, Act 328, Eff. Sept. 18, 1931 ;-- CL 1948, 750.439
Former Law: See sections 4 and 5 of Ch. 158 of R.S. 1846, being CL 1857, §§ 5859 and 5860; CL 1871, §§ 7694 and 7695; How., §§ 9280 and 9281; CL 1897, §§ 11691 and 11692; CL 1915, §§ 15465 and 15466; CL 1929, §§ 16820 and 16821; and Act 91 of 1869.

Certainly! Let's explore the differences between **cheating** and **polyamory**.

**Cheating** refers to engaging in romantic or sexual activities outside of a committed relationship without the knowledge or consent of one's partner. It typically involves secrecy, betrayal, and a breach of trust. People who cheat often do so without their partner's awareness, which can lead to emotional pain and damage the relationship.

On the other hand, **polyamory** is a consensual non-monogamous arrangement where individuals have multiple romantic or sexual partners simultaneously. In polyamorous relationships, all parties involved are aware of and agree to the arrangement. Here are some key differences:

1. **Consent**: The fundamental difference lies in consent. In polyamory, everyone involved consents to having multiple partners. It's an open and honest arrangement where communication is essential. Cheating, on the other hand, occurs when one partner violates the agreed-upon boundaries without consent.

2. **Communication**: Polyamorous relationships thrive on open communication. Partners discuss their feelings, desires, and boundaries openly. Cheating, by contrast, involves secrecy and deception.

3. **Authenticity**: Polyamorous relationships prioritize authenticity over exclusivity. Partners recognize that no single person can fulfill all their needs and desires. They allow each other to explore connections with others while maintaining their primary relationship.

4. **Trust**: Trust is crucial in both polyamory and monogamy. In polyamorous relationships, trust is built through transparency and honesty about other partners. Cheating erodes trust because it involves betrayal.

5. **Cultural Norms**: While monogamy is often considered the cultural norm, polyamory challenges this by acknowledging that people can love more than one person simultaneously.

In summary, polyamory is about consensual openness and communication, while cheating involves secrecy and betrayal of trust. Each person must find what works best for them based on their own values and desires. Remember that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships; what matters most is mutual respect and understanding.

 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What do consensual non-monogamy and polyamory mean?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) describes any relationship in which all participants explicitly agree to have multiple concurrent sexual, intimate, and/or romantic relationships. The specific agreements within CNM relationships can vary, depending on what the partners need and want.

Polyamory is a practice or philosophy where someone has, or is open to having, multiple loving partners simultaneously with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Polyamory is distinct from other types of CNM in that people engaged in polyamory tend to be more open to falling in love with more than one person. People engaged in polyamory can be involved in one relationship with multiple partners or in multiple one-on-one relationships. Empirical research indicates that interest in polyamory is becoming increasingly common. (Moors, 2017)

Do people engaged in polyamory have any legal rights?

Currently, not many. Multiple U.S. states (including California, Washington, Louisiana, and Rhode Island) have explicitly recognized the families with multiple parents, such as step-families, adoptive families, and families with CNM parents. The Uniform Parentage Act (a recommended uniform legal framework for establishing parent-child relationships in the US) allows for the legal recognition of more than two parents. In June 2020, the City of Somerville adopted an ordinance allowing for more than two domestic partnerships, whereby residents could legally recognize more than one committed relationship. Outside of the US, the Supreme Court of Newfoundland has recently recognized the parental responsibilities of a polyamorous, three-parent family.

How common is consensual non-monogamy?

More than one in five people in the United States have engaged in a CNM relationship at some point in their life and approximately 4-5% of people are currently in CNM relationships. For context, this is roughly the same size of the lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities combined (Haupert, Gesselman, Moors, Fisher, & Garcia, 2017; Rubin, Moors, Matsick, Ziegler, Conley, 2014).

How are polyamorous people discriminated against?

Historically, non-traditional relationships (e.g., same-sex couples and CNM relationships) and families (e.g., bi-racial families) were  criminalized and declared unfit to raise their own children. Despite reforms and progress for some family structures, these negative assumptions persist today. Many judges conclude, without supporting evidence, that people who engage in CNM are less moral, less stable, and less capable to care for children compared to monogamous people (e.g., V.B. v. J.E.B., 2012; Cross v. Cross, 2008). Further, some family courts have misunderstood polyamorous relationships, many assuming that long-term committed plural relationships are equivalent to “wife-swapping” or casual sex-only swinging. (Cross v. Cross, 2008; In re Aleksandree M.M., 2010). Ignorance about polyamory fuels systematic discrimination towards these families.

Despite the majority of people engaged in CNM concealing their CNM out of fear of discrimination and stigma, more than one-half of them report experiencing discrimination anyway (Witherspoon, 2020). Studies demonstrate a high level of stigma as social conditioning leads many to judge nontraditional relationships as less trusting, less meaningful, and less satisfying than their monogamous counterparts (Conley et. al., 2013; Moors et. al., 2013). Studies have identified shared forms of stigma and discrimination between consensually nonmonogamous people and LGBTQ communities including (but are not limited to): fear of coming out, retaliation for coming out, marital/adoption/custody/parental issues, family rejection, difficulty accessing supportive mental health care, housing discrimination, and workplace discrimination.

Why should I support the creation of laws to protect polyamorous people, their relationships, and their families?

Minority stress is a term referring to the additional stress that members of marginalized groups experience because of the prejudice and discrimination they face. Recent research has demonstrated that like other marginalized groups, people engaged in CNM experience minority stress linked to negative physical and mental health outcomes (e.g., increased depression and anxiety). Ordinances protecting workplace and housing discrimination improve the lives in the lives of those engaged in CNM by helping provide many CNM individuals with a sense of validation and recognition, thereby helping to reduce many of the negative mental and physical health consequences of CNM stigma. These ordinances may also prevent future discrimination, broadly validate CNM relationships, and normalize the adoption of similar ordinances across the United States and around the world.

I’m polyamorous, how can I get involved in the fight to end discrimination?

PLAC needs people to speak out about their personal experiences of discrimination to news and media publications to advance the fight for civil rights. Particularly, we are looking for people who can share stories about:

·  Health insurance coverage & health care access- inability to cover more than one partner

·  Housing discrimination

·  Hospital visitation issues with more than one partner

·  Employment discrimination

·  Child custody challenges

·  Any other challenges with lack of recognition of more than one partnership

It’s most helpful to hear stories from people who would be comfortable sharing their names and faces, but we are also open to people who need to remain anonymous. Here’s a helpful article by Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, Diana Adams, on how to decide whether it’s safe for you to come out publicly as polyamorous.

If you have a story to share, please email info@polyamorylegaladvocacycoalition.org with “Polyamory Media” in the subject line.

 

*The Government does not support marriage, no less plural marriage. The difference being, monogamous is the legal choice of the United States Government. Poly folks got the raw end of the stick. To see this, I say why is there a friend of the court, and other public programs to destroy the American family with and with out do prosses. IF YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY, GOOD LUCK, WE LOVE YOU!

**FAMILY POLICE: PROTECTIVE SERVICES, WOMANS RECOURSES, FRIEND OF THE COURT, GET AWAY WITH OUT DO PROSSES, & DOES NOT FOLLOW THE FIRST, 6TH & 7TH Amendments. I am evidence of the wrong doing of that along with 2 of my 5 women. Bringing the government into our family and tearing all of us apart. Than If the Government knew We were Poly I would have a criminal sexual charges on ME  JUST BECAUSE  WE ARE LOVING ANOTHER, because of state laws in place. All of my wives are legal by US standards... divorced properly So the Government is happy and a few hundred to thousands of dollars more for them per wife. So you could say we done our part to supporting our state & country the way it is... They say "We are here to protect the child, and stand behind the family" look back, O.K.! When I look, I see THEY LIED TO ME!

OTHER PEOPLE'S TRUE STORIES  FOR YOU TO ENJOY.

I've been asked to share my life experiences when it comes to being Polyamorous...

I'm going to start with what I think of polyamory. To begin with it's not something for the faint of heart. Polyamory takes a lot of inner strength and a very open heart. I would say before you dive head first into being polyamorous, that you do your research. I say do your research because you need to know if it's something you can handle and accept into your life. I personally like and accept Polyamory into my life because I have a huge heart, a lot of love to give and I was raised with a very open heart. So that being said, it's I enjoy the polyamory lifestyle, it's something I can handle, accept and encourage to the right people.
Now that I've explained what I think of being polyamorous, we're going to move into how old I was, what life has taught me and how life has treated me through the polyamorous lifestyle.
I want to say I was around 16 when I jumped into the polyamorous lifestyle. When I decided to dive head first into it, I myself hadn't done my research or talked to my parents who raised me around polyamory. I kept it hidden to myself for a couple years before I opened up to my dad about being in a polyamorous relationship. That was one of the worst things I had done when getting into the lifestyle. Looking back now that I'm 26 years old, I wish I had done my research and made sure it was something that I could handle being in. Now I'm not saying I can't handle it; I'm just saying I wish I had been fully aware of what it was before I agreed to be in that sort of relationship.
Life when it comes to polyamory, has taught me many things. It's taught me things such as, love has no bounds, it has no limitations, it knows no ends. Polyamory has taught me that a person can have an open heart to love, care for, appreciate and be with more than one person at the same time as another. A lot of people mistake Polyamory as the same thing as just an open relationship, when it's so much more than that. As I stated in the very first part of my statement... This lifestyle has taught me that this sort of relationship is not for the faint of heart and takes a very open heart as well as a lot of inner strength. Polyamorous relationships are not for everyone out there, that's definitely for sure.
Moving on to how life has treated me since becoming polyamorous. It has its ups and downs as does a normal relationship. Life in polyamory, has treated me in many different ways. I've been in positions where I've been happy, saddened, jealous, hurt and abused. The polyamorous lifestyle has taught me that you can't just jump into the first polyamorous relationship that comes around. This lifestyle has taught me that it takes time to find exactly what you need and want in it, VS what just comes around. Overall, the lifestyle has treated me well, but like normal relationships it has its ups and downs.
So, all in all, polyamory is a delicate relationship that takes time, research, patience, love, strength and a big heart. I've had my happiness, jealousy, sadness and hurt when it comes to it. I'll say this in my final statement, if you're interested in the lifestyle, do your research, make sure you have an open mind, open heart, and that it's something for you. Don't let someone push you into something you don't want, I've been there and experienced it. I, after all I've experienced during polyamory, am still in the lifestyle. I currently am in a polyamorous relationship; I can't say it's the best relationship but I can say joining the polyamorous lifestyle is one of the best things I've ever done. This experience has taught me so much in life, love, and friendships. If I was asked if I recommend joining polyamory, I would tell you... Yes! just make sure you do your research, take your time and make sure you are stable, that you love yourself and can open your heart to more than one person at a time.

                                                                                                                                                          with love : Poly Michigan child

Poly questions lets see are you poly... 12 questions to see.